Dinner
by nerdyninjaunicorn
Summary: Rose Weasley and Scorpius Malfoy have a deal. It involves a Mr. Ron Weasley and Mr. Draco Malfoy, and two very interesting dinners.


Disclaimer: Santa didn't give me Harry Potter for Christmas. Instead, I got makeup and nail polish. Thanks, Mom.

A/N: Um, not really much, just enjoy the Romione goodness at the beginning :3 as well as the other hilarity.

"For a Malfoy, Rose's new boyfriend wasn't too bad," Ron Weasley said after his said daughter had gone to bed and the young Malfoy had left.

Ron's wife, Hermione Weasley, just stared off into space whilst lazily holding a blue cup with tea.

"Hermione?" Ron asked, staring at his wife. Normally, Hermione was so with it and logical, it surprised Ron that his beautiful wife wasn't responding with a "He's simply marvelous, Ron, aren't you glad you have the boy a chance?"

Hermione remained silent. Finally, she said "He needs to go."

The smile once on Ron's face was one of disbelief "What?"

"He needs to go."

"But Hermione," Ron insisted "The boy's not that bad!"

"Oh, Ron, Ron, Ron," Hermione shook her head "Do you not see the signs?"

"What signs?"

"The only reason he is dating her is to get something."

Ron's eyes widened "Over my dead body will that boy deflower our Rose-"

"Not that, Ronald!" Hermione sighed "He wants someone else."

Ron felt faint "No. Not Hugo."

Hermione face palmed "No, Ron. Not Hugo."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive."

Ron felt uneasy "Hermione, did that little rat make any moves on you?"

"No. Well, yes, he winked. Once."

Ron swiftly whipped out his wand from his pocket. "Where's that rat bastard!?"

Hermione chuckled "Ron, it's not me I'm talking about. And I find it amusing that a few seconds ago, you were complimenting the boy. Now, you're calling him a rat bastard!"

Now, once upon a time, Ron may have been shocked to hear Hermione say 'rat bastard'. But he'd been married to her for 22 years, and he had heard her say many things worse than that, so he was hardly at all fazed.

"Well, who is it then, Hermione?"

"Well," Hermione stood up, and walked over to her husband "He's tall, he's handsome, and I can hardly blame the boy."

Ron suddenly grew very pale. Okay, paler than he already is.

"What?" he squeaked.

Hermione kissed Ron "Honestly, did you not notice it?"

"Me? Why would he want me?" Ron was now running about the room in a rather strange fashion, much to Hermione's slight amusement and concern.

"Dear, I'm your wife. I don't think I'm the best one to be asking this," Hermione told him, sitting down in the love seat.

"But- wh- I- I'M STRAIGHT!" He sat down beside her shaking his head. He's calmed down a bit, thankfully.

Hermione resisted a laugh before replying "Ron, out of anyone on this planet, I'm think I'm the person who knows just HOW straight you are."

Ron chuckled. If he'd heard Hermione making references to the bedroom back at Hogwarts, he probably would have had a heart attack.

"So," he said awkwardly "Scorpius Malfoy has a thing for me."

"Did you seriously not notice, Ron? The boy tried making eye contact with you around twenty times, and he was blatantly flirting with you at the dinner table," Hermione stopped for a moment before saying "Imagine what Malfoy would say if he found out his son took quite the shine to you."

Ron laughed loudly "Oh Merlin, what WOULD Malfoy do?"

"Oh, poor boy would probably be disowned," Hermione said sadly "But there's no way in hell if he's kicked out that he will be staying here."

"Scared he'll try and take advantage of me, dearest?"

"Possibly," Hermione frowned.

"Hermione, trust me, as much as the boy loves to flatter me," Ron said honestly, pulling Hermione into a hug "I promise, I will always love you, no matter what some pesky little Malfoy spawn tries to pull on me."

"Only you, Ron, could make something like that sound romantic," Hermione smiled and laughed quietly.

~~~~~~~~~Dinner at the Weasley's~~~~~~~~

"So, Scorpius," Ron began "I trust you will be good to little Rosie here?"

"Dad!" Rose protested, a blush on her cheeks.

Scorpius laughed and turned to Ron "Oh, you won't have to worry. Rose is in my best interest," he stopped for a moment to say "I say, Mr. Weasley, where'd you get this meat? It's delicious!"

Scorpius winked at Hermione, who felt appalled. She'd lived with Ron for 23 years, and known him even longer, hence caught he innuendo. Strangely enough, Ron didn't.

"Well, you'll have to thank my wife. She picked it up at the grossy store-"

"Grocery store, Ron," Hermione corrected him, giggles escaping every few seconds. Scorpius smiled at Hermione before, once again, turning to Ron.

"Mr. Weasley, where did you buy that shirt? It looks quite nice on you."

"Why, thank you Scorpius," poor, naïve Ron said, assuming Scorpius was flattering him to earn his approval...to Rose, of course. "I got it at some store Hermione likes, what's it called? Dry Hippogriff...?"

"Wet Seal," Hermione smiled at Ron. Rose shot a smug look Scorpius's direction. Scorpius returned it with a glare.

"So, Mum, tomorrow night, we're going to Scorpius's house to eat his father."

Scorpius looked simply appalled and Hermione gave her daughter a strange look before Rose caught her mistake and chuckled nervously as a blush arose on her pale cheeks "Oh, no, that's not what I meant! I meant we are going to eat WITH his father!"

Scorpius laughed nervously, and Hermione did as well. Ron, completely oblivious, laughed rather loudly.

"Can you imagine our Rosie, devouring Draco Malfoy?" Ron chuckled rather loudly, as Rose turned scarlet.

"That'd be a sight to see," Hermione commented. Scorpius choked on his food.

After Scorpius managed to hack up the food, they finished up their meal. As Ron and Hermione went to the kitchen to clean up the meal, Scorpius and Rose had a chat.

"I told you, Dad's completely oblivious! What were my exact words?" Rose taunted.

"Bugger off. What the hell was that comment about MY Dad, huh? Keep those sick fantasies to yourself, okay? Anyways, I'M not going to try and do stuff like that with my Dad, so keep me out of it!"

"How dare you! It was a simple slip up!" Rose blushed furiously.

"Ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, HA! You're blushing!" Scorpius jabbed Rose in the shoulder with his finger.

"Shut up, Malfoy!" Rose snarled.

"Honestly, I'm not surprised, most people fall for Malfoy's-"

"Not my Dad!"

"You know what? Shut up, Weasley!"

"Make me."

"Normally, this is the part where I'm supposed to kiss you, but seeing as I am not attracted to YOU in the slightest-"

"Hey! Hey! You're bi, you are allowed to think I'm wildly attractive!"

"Yeah, so? You've got a thing for older men, and I'm three months older than you."

Rose glared at him "I wouldn't touch you with a ten foot pole."

"If my father had a ten foot pole though, you'd get close to his," scoffed Scorpius.

"I could slap you right now," Rose whispered angrily.

"Do it. Try explaining it to your parents."

"I hate you."

"The feeling is mutual, darling."

Ron happened to walk them the moment after Scorpius let them fly out of his mouth.

"Why, Mr. Weasley! I quite like those pants you're wearing, they fit you quite nicely!" Scorpius said, blatantly checking out the older Weasley.

Ron merely guffawed "You certainly seem to know what side of bread your butter is on, boy!"

"Yes. I. Do." Scorpius said quietly and deliberately to Rose after Ron headed into the living room.

"It's not going to work," Rose said mockingly in a manner not unlike her mother.

"Shut up, Weasley," muttered Scorpius.

An hour later though, after his constant flirting, Scorpius said "I guess you're right. Is the deal off?"

"Not quite. I haven't had a go at your dad," Rose replied.

"Fine," grumbled Scorpius. "Hey, is your mother interested in younger men?"

"Nope," Rose lied, popping the p.

-A few nights later, at the Malfoy's-

"So, this is my boyfriend's daughter, Rose?" Draco Malfoy said as the three of them sat down for dinner.

"Yup, this is her, all right," Scorpius said nervously.

"How do you do, Mr. Malfoy?" Rose asked in what was supposed to be a seductive voice.

"Um, rather well, thank you," a baffled Draco replied. Was this young, and quite lovely, lady FLIRTING with him?

"I say, Mr. Malfoy, you're home is magnificent! It looks much too large just for one man, all alone," Rose commented, using what Scorpius was now referring to as "the Voice".

"Why, thank you. I do find myself rather lonely, it would be nice to share my home with a certain someone."

Scorpius was gobsmacked. How could his father fall for Weasley's act when Ron wouldn't fall for his. Unthinkable.

This was NOT supposed to happen.

"Um, Dad, aren't you forgetting that I live here, too?" Scorpius said, clearly jealous.

"You look simply debonair, Mr. Malfoy," Rose said "Tell me, is that a designer robe?"

"Why yes it is. And call me Draco," he flashed her the Malfoy smile.

She giggled "Well then, Draco, how about we sit down and chat?"

"I'd like that very much, Miss Weasley."

"Oh, screw formalities. Call me Rose."

"Rose it is!"

"Guys, WHAT ABOUT ME! I'm HER boyfriend! I'm YOUR son!" Scorpius cried.

"Scorpius, please, don't interrupt Rose as she's speaking," Draco said sternly.

"Draco, that was rather sexy back there," Rose offered a sultry smile.

"Scorpius, go to your room," Draco commanded.

"WHAT?! What did I do!"

"Yes, go to your room, Scorpius!" Rose urged the younger Malfoy.

"UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE! I hope the both of you realize what you are about to do is highly ILLEGAL!"

"Scorpius, mind your language," Draco said, almost as if he was bored, staring at Rose intensely. Scorpius was already halfway to his room.

"FUCK, FUCK, FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!" screeched Scorpius as he slammed his bedroom door shut.

A/N: please REVIEW! If you don't, I'll set my ninja henchman


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